


So You Want to Write Bestiality

by dogslut



Category: Original Work
Genre: (and why that's bs), Advice, Anal Knotting, Anal Sex, Bestiality, Dog sex, F/M, How-to, Knotting, M/M, Multi, Oral Knotting, Oral Sex, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Vaginal Knotting, Vaginal Sex, Writing, Writing Guide, Zoophilia, animal sex, horse sex, how-to guide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-12
Updated: 2018-11-11
Packaged: 2019-08-22 11:29:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16597037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dogslut/pseuds/dogslut
Summary: A practical guide to writing bestiality fic.





	1. Introduction

So you want to write bestiality. Awesome! I’m here to help you do that. I’m NOT here to discuss, much less debate, the ethics or legality of interspecies sex; nor am I here to encourage you to actually go try this. This is intended as a guide to assist in WRITING ABOUT bestiality by understanding the subject better.

 

**What bestiality is and isn't**

Strictly speaking, bestiality is sexual contact between a human and another species, but we only say it that way because we're the only species around with our level of intelligence & the ability to communicate that. In fiction, not all interspecies sex is bestiality...in the presence of other sentient species of humanish intelligence, the distinction is usually one of physiology & intelligence.

That is to say: if your setting has humans and humanoid extraterrestrials, human x alien sex isn't bestiality because both are humanoid and have the ability to give explicit verbal consent. That's called **xenophilia** instead. If the non-human is a monster, whether sentient or not, it’s called **teratophilia** (and may also qualify as xenophilia).

**Examples:** If you write Aragon x Arwen, that’s xenophilia (especially if you’re adopting that one headcanon about elf women having pussy tentacles). If you write a Hobbit fanfic where Bilbo & co. get knocked out of the trees and gangraped by warg-rider goblins, that's teratophilia. If the wargs joined in, that's bestiality. (And I would read the hell out of that.)

 

**Why write realistic bestiality?**

> ver·i·si·mil·i·tude  
> /ˌvərəsəˈmiləˌt(y)o͞od/  
>  _noun  
> _ the appearance of being true or real.  
> "the detail gives the novel some verisimilitude"  
>  _synonyms:_ realism, believability, plausibility, authenticity, credibility, lifelikeness  
> "the verisimilitude of her performance is gripping"

Your readers can usually tell if you’re just pulling shit out of your ass. Granted, the more the obscure the topic, the more readily readers will swallow bullshit, but even then you have to know how to write with an air of authority...whether you are actually writing from a position of authority or not. But I can’t tell you how many times I’ve read fanfic where the writer talks about the male prostate gland as if it’s shaped like a clitoris or something and from then on I can’t trust a dang thing that writer has to say.

A lot of the time there’s an element of fantasy to erotica, especially the super kinky stuff. Men having anal sex without douching first. Virgins deep-throating without throwing up or having a coughing fit. Spit as lube (shudder). An 18-inch-long, 4-inch-diameter penis going balls deep in any part of a human without fatal injuries. OBVIOUSLY smut doesn’t have to be perfectly realistic to be enjoyable. But it’s a lot MORE enjoyable when there is at least a LITTLE realism. An element of realism makes it hotter, filthier...and maybe more thrilling because it’s brushing up against real-life taboos.

So I’m not here saying “You guys need to write beast sex exactly as it would actually happen IRL!” ...This is more like, “Here’s how it would actually happen IRL, feel free to take whatever parts of this you want to spice up your smut!”

 

**Learning more**

This isn’t one of those things where it’s best to learn from experience. Even beyond the ethics question there are serious concerns with legality, safety, & access, to say nothing of the simple fact that the vast majority of people have no desire to actually go fuck a dog even if they love reading about it. So aside from this guide, how can you learn more? I have three pieces of advice.

  1. **Don’t look to fiction for facts.** I think we all know how the fanfic world works: many writers learn things from reading other people’s fanfics instead of doing their own research or trying things themselves. The thing is you can’t tell who actually knows what they’re talking about vs. who’s just parroting someone else’s fic that parrots someone else’s fic that etc. etc. until you yourself have done your own research and/or tried things yourself. That’s how we get so much M/M smut that doesn’t remotely resemble how M/M sex works...or for that matter, so much M/F & F/F smut written by cishet men who clearly have no idea how women’s bodies work!


  1. **Read first-hand accounts.** Beast forum dot com has a lot of true stories (fair warning: some are fantasy bullshit all the same) and practical discussions that can be useful to writers interested in verisimilitude. There used to be a lot more online communities but most have either folded or gotten shut down.


  1. **Watch some beast porn.** If it’s legal for you to do so and you can stomach it, that is. (Use a VPN if you can or AT LEAST private browsing mode.) Amateur is best, just like with any other flavor of porn. You’ll be surprised by how quickly the action is over, for one. I’ll talk more about that later. But actually seeing something will generally help you understand more than just reading about it and imagining what it looks like.



 

**Next up: Dog sex!**


	2. Canine Sex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is mostly about domestic dogs but the biology involved holds true for all canids.

**Words to know**

Baculum: the bone in the penis of canids and some other animals which keeps the organ partially rigid at all times, even when not erect.

Bitch: a female canid.

Copulatory jump: the act of a dog mounting a bitch from behind, resting against her back, and holding her sides with his forelegs to mate; commonly used for any quadruped.

Dog: a male canid.

Flagging, to flag: a signal of readiness to mate in which a bitch presents her backside and holds her tail to one side.

Bulbus glandis: collectively, a pair of erectile glands near the base of a dog’s penis that inflate during copulation and ejaculation.

Knot: 1. (n. colloquial) the bulbus glandis on a dog’s penis (qv). 2. (v. colloquial) to achieve a copulatory tie (qv).

Sheath: (n. colloquial) a protective prepuce of flexible skin that encases a terrestrial mammal’s penis; analogous to the human foreskin.

Tie: 1. (n.) short for copulatory tie; the seal formed by an inflated bulbus glandis and a vaginal canal (or other orifice). 2. (n.) the period of time in which a dog’s penis is locked in an orifice by his inflated bulbus glandis. 3. (v. of a dog or his penis) to become locked in an orifice by an inflated bulbus glandis.

 

**About canine penis**

Penis size roughly correlates to body size but it’s highly individual. Obviously a kuvasz is going to have a much larger cock than a Yorkie. Beagles, German shepherds, Great Danes, mastiffs, Rottweilers, pitbulls, and St. Bernards are all known to usually have proportionately very large dicks. Sighthounds (greyhounds, whippets, Russian & Irish wolfhounds, etc.) are known to have proportionately very small dicks (and vaginas). Other than that there’s little way to predict exactly how big a dog’s dick is based on breed or size. German shepherds, Labrador retrievers, golden retrievers, and Weimaraners are common in zoo porn because their dicks are often of a size that fits a human vagina or rectum well. Great Danes are also popular because they’re so dang big, but they tend to have trouble mounting and knotting...because they’re so dang big.

We all know the term “red rocket” here...but what you might not know is that it doesn’t stay red when it becomes erect. As the penis engorges, it becomes more of a purpleish grey with red at the tip and red blood vessels going every which way. The end becomes flatter vertically with the pointy urethral tip still standing out. The knot isn’t just a perfect sphere. It looks roughly like two halves of an egg growing out of either side of the shaft; it’s all one gland though.

Fun fact: the penis DOES NOT HAVE SKIN other than the sheath. Instead it's covered in a fragile mucous membrane that keeps it moist. It’s so easy to accidentally nick a dog’s penis and cause a lot of bleeding (usually not a dangerous amount, just a scary-LOOKING amount) that you have to wear seamless gloves and use special sleeves that won’t give him a papercut for semen collection for AI. If a dog gets stuck outside his sheath for too long, his penis will start to dry out and he can get gangrene. That's why they're so quick to lick themselves back into their sheaths.

 

**Dog on bitch (or dog)**

Here’s how dog sex works when it’s just the canids. I find it’s helpful to understand how things are MEANT to work.

The dog (male) shows interest by circling the bitch, coming up alongside her from behind, licking her vulva if he can, and placing his chin on her back or shoulders. His penis will begin to drop out of its sheath. If she isn’t ready to mate, she’ll rebuff him by walking away, sitting down, turning around to face him, or even attacking him. If she is, she’ll flag him by pointing her rear at him and moving her tail to one side. He then hoists himself up onto her back and wraps his forelegs around her middle. His hips begin thrusting immediately. At this point his thrusts are relatively long and slow as he’s trying to align his penis to her vulva. Also at this point, his penis is not erect yet, but he will be steadily squirting cloudy precum. Whereas a human becomes fully erect before penetration, a dog penetrates while flaccid, instead relying on his baculum to keep him stiff enough.

As soon as the dog successfully finds the bitch’s vulva with his penis, he pushes the rest in pretty much all at once. These penetrating thrusts push the sheath all the way back past the knot. His back curls to bring his hips closer to her rump, and his thrusts become far faster and shallower. His aim is to get his knot into her before it inflates though it’s pretty common for there to be a few (or many) false starts first. This part typically only lasts 10-45 seconds with shorter times being more common.

The shaft and knot become erect fairly quickly. At full erection the penis is at least half again (sometimes twice) as long and two to three (or even four) times as thick. It only takes a couple of seconds for the knot to fully inflate. As soon as his cock starts to engorge, the dog ejaculates a large volume of thin, oily, milky semen.

 **They do not howl when they cum.** Not dogs, not wolves, not any canid species. I don't know where people get this silly idea.

At the same time the bitch’s vaginal walls constrict tightly around the dog’s penis. A bitch’s vaginal muscles are incredibly strong...strong enough to hold a knot when the dog attached to it wants to leave! They are far stronger than the vaginal or anal muscles of any human.

Usually as soon as he’s knotted the bitch, the dog will slide/step/jump off one side of her back, throw a leg over, and stand rear-to-rear with her. The base of his penis is very flexible and turns completely backwards horizontally. He will continue to ejaculate small amounts of clear prostatic fluid every 2 to 5 seconds throughout the tie. A large, young adult dog who hasn’t mated in a long time may ejaculate nearly three fluid ounces total. (Compare that to the average human’s palty teaspoon!)

Periodically during the tie, her muscles will tighten and spasm around him, which in turn stimulates more ejaculation. How long the tie lasts depends on a lot of factors, such as how long it’s been since the dog mated, his overall health, and how willing they both are to stay there. The average tie lasts 5-20 minutes but 30-70 is not unheard of. You might think wow, a solid hour of jizzing, that must be amazing!! But in reality as soon as he’s delivered the most important part of his load the dog becomes disinterested and drowsy. Canids don’t have sex ed so inexperienced ones may panic during the tie and can potentially hurt each other badly. The knot deflates on its own time so eventually the dog will tug and it’ll come free. The bitch & dog both lick themselves clean and go about their business, maybe have a nap. Around a bitch in heat a dog can go 4-6 times in a day but without estrus scent driving him bonkers he’s not likely to have more than two rounds in him.

Male & female dogs and wolves play-mount each other all the time. It’s a thing they do. Sometimes a dog (male) will actually end up penetrating another dog anally and might even knot him. Sometimes when this happens the “bottom” will get visibly aroused...he might even ejaculate. This is kind of rare though. Canids generally aren’t as big on male/male sex with their own kind as, say, humans or donkeys.

 

**Dog on human vaginal**

Mounting, penetration, and ejaculation happen the same with a human as it does with a bitch. There are some important differences elsewhere. The size of the dog’s penis when fully erect is going to play the biggest part in whether or not he can vaginally tie a human. If he doesn’t have enough length behind the knot, the knot might get stuck at the vaginal vestibule which is going to be painful unless the human has done a LOT of stretching. If he’s too long entirely, his cock will push itself out as he becomes erect; an experienced stud may stay mounted anyway, or the human (or someone else) can hold his cock by the knot to keep it in. If he’s too small he won’t be able to stay inside. If his knot inflates too much before he gets it inside, it’s just not going in, full stop...unless someone else forces it in, which is going to be painful for both the human and the dog.

As I mentioned before, a bitch’s vaginal muscles are crazy strong. Comparatively speaking, a humans are not. That means that if a dog is determined to pull out and his knot isn’t both large enough and locked in past the pubic bone, it’s coming out! Accidental untying happens a lot when the dog dismounts to try to turn.

If the dog is a good fit, the knot is going to press directly on the g-spot (in the front for cis women & pre-/non-op trans men and in the back for post-op trans women*). A big enough dog might have the pointy head of his cock pressed right up against the cervix. The canine penis is several degrees warmer than the human body and the shaft is wet because it’s covered in a mucous membrane instead of skin, as mentioned before. Canine semen is hotter than human semen, too. The ejaculations almost never have enough pressure behind them to actually feel the shot, but both the knot and tip throb every time he shoots cum. If they tie the human will be able to feel their vagina and possibly uterus filling up with hot, runny liquid. No canid ejaculates enough to stretch the uterus (remember it’s only ⅓ cup tops)...but I think your readers will give you a pass if you’re writing fantasy with cum inflation.

Dog on human ties are usually shorter than dog on bitch ties because of size & strength. An experienced dog and a human (or whatever, it’s your story) assistant can help it last longer. The human might hold the dog by his collar if he’s facing front or his hind legs if he’s facing away to keep him from trying to run off while tied. When a human is tied there’s not a lot they can do but kneel or lie there and take it. Depending on the position and whether or not the dog turns, the clit and/or anus might be reachable. It’s theoretically possible that a human could get knotted vaginally and then after the turn, another dog could fuck them anally. If the human isn’t well-prepared for this with a lot of hole training it’s going to be very painful.

Canine semen, as I’ve mentioned, is a watery substance. Human semen is thick and sticky because we’re upright bipeds with downward-oriented vaginas. Quadrupeds don’t need their cum to be as fancy because they don’t have to fight gravity for impregnation. What this means for dog on human bestiality is that as soon as the human stands up there’s going to be a waterfall between their legs. Chances are the dog is going to want to clean that up with his tongue!

 

**Dog on human anal**

This is much the same as vaginal. The anus has a little easier time holding a knot because of its structure. Yes, the knot will “pop” in and out of the human’s ass during the humping stage because the knot is always thicker than the rest of the shaft...but just as with vaginal sex, once it reaches a certain girth, it’s just not going to go in. The dog will not try to force it in, sorry. A human assistant or magical dog might, though!

It’s a lot easier for a human to accommodate a sizable dog penis anally than vaginally. There is still a risk of intestinal rupture, however. Some people who are into deep anal stimulation and large insertion practice straightening their colon to make this sort of thing easier & safer. But that’s more of a thing for taking horse cock than dog.

As with vaginal sex, a human with a “male” prostate gland will find the knot pressing and throbbing directly against it. It’s not unusual for a man to ejaculate (with or without orgasm) when knotted because of the sudden pressure on his prostate. It can still be very pleasurable to humans without that kind of prostate. On the other hand, it’s not uncommon for inexperienced bestialists to panic when knotted anally. If they try to push or pull it out they can injure themselves, the dog, or both badly. Pulling out a fully inflated knot can cause prolapse or it can deglove the dog’s penis. (If you don’t know what that means, I don’t recommend looking it up...just trust me that it’s a horrifying injury.)

Anal dog sex is one of those instances where too much anal stretching is actually detrimental. A sphincter that’s too stretched out won’t be able to hold the knot or cum. If that’s not the case, most of the dog’s load will stay inside, trapped by the anus. If it stays in long enough the rectum will absorb the water portion (and maybe other liquid parts too?) which leaves behind a thick gel by the time it’s expelled. A full tie might pump enough semen into the intestines that the human will be shitting out dog jizz for 2-3 days afterward. Literally. If they’re taken by more than one dog that’s obviously going to get extended.

 

**Dog on human oral**

Not all dogs--male and female--are ever going to be interested in oral sex. (Or any kind of interspecies sex for that matter.) But most males will readily lick a vulva and/or ass before and after sex, or just because. Many bitches will, too. And many of either sex will happily lick a human penis.

A dog’s tongue is a little rough. It feels mostly soft when they’re licking your hand or face, but it’s far more apparently that their tongues are NOT as smooth as ours when they’re licking your junk. The animal’s attitude about it varies with the individual too. Some are kind of ho-hum about it while others will go at it like they’re starving.

The canine tongue does not have the same amount of muscular control as a human’s. They can’t point their tongues, for example. Without the ability to make their tongues rigid, the chances of a dog with a two-inch-wide tongue actually getting that thing INSIDE a human vagina or anus that isn’t stretched like Goatse Man is next to nil. Even if they could, most people really don’t enjoy the sensation of raspy things on their internal organs. So no, a GSD is not going to lick your human protagonist’s pussy from the inside, sorry.

Adult canids can suckle but they can’t really form a seal with their mouths to get real suction going like a human can. A human could put their penis in a dog’s mouth, but they’re obviously taking some pretty big risks doing this. Not that that stops some people. The point being that a dog physically cannot give head the way a human would. Also, just pointing this out, the dog isn’t likely to get anything out of it like a human who enjoys sucking dick would. Of course you can ignore that if you’re writing about magical animals or whatever.

 

**Human on bitch vaginal**

Canine bitches are not “always on” like humans and male dogs. They are normally only interested in sex during the late stage of heat about 10 days in. Bitches who have sex with humans may develop a taste for it out of season though.

A bitch’s vaginal canal is designed to take a penis shaped very different from a human’s, but as long as she’s large enough and not spayed (which causes vaginal atrophy), a human penis won’t hurt her. Her vagina points upward from the vulva at a 45 degree angle, a little steeper than a human’s. She will not constrict a human penis the same way that she would a dog’s because a human lacks a knot to trigger that constriction, but there will still be contractions & spasms. According to some, a bitch can and will orgasm, and supposedly it feels similar to a human vaginal orgasm from the top’s perspective.

After sex, a satisfied bitch gets energetic and playful. She will run around, roll on the ground, and so forth. It’s basically the opposite of a post-coital dog!

 

**Human on bitch/dog anal**

Just like humans, whether or not a canine will allow or enjoy receiving anal sex is up to the individual, and it takes patience, stretching, and lube. You can’t exactly give a dog an anal douche so there’s a strong chance that it will be...messy.

 

**Human on dog oral**

Most dogs are unimpressed by human mouths on their dicks. They lick themselves to make their dicks go back into their sheaths, so unless he’s already popped his knot, trying to give a dog head is going to have the same result. Once erect he may tolerate it though.

On the other hand, an excited dog who wants to fuck can easily try to mount a human’s head by mistake (or be encouraged to do so on purpose), at which point the human could grab him behind the knot to get him to hump, put their mouth on his cock, and let him facefuck them.

A person should NEVER allow a dog larger than a toy breed to knot them orally on pain of a broken jaw, serious disfiguring injuries to the dog, and/or death by asphyxiation. Why is that? Imagine stacking two toilet paper rolls, one atop the other, on a baseball. Now imagine you’ve somehow got that in your mouth--the rolls going down your throat and the baseball stuck behind your teeth, and it’s shooting liquid down your esophagus. Can you breathe? Can you get it back out? No? That’s why. Humanoids getting knotted orally and not dying is pure fantasy.

Canine penis has been described as tasting powerfully metallic, like “old pennies.” By contrast their semen is often described as tasting milder and less bitter than human semen.

  
  


*I can’t tell you anything about what prostate stimulation is like for post-op trans women who didn’t have it removed. You’re on your own for that one, sorry.

 

**Next up: Horse sex!**

**Author's Note:**

> If this guide helps you with your writing, link me your fic in the comments so I can read it!


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